I have found some comfort in silence, so weird as I was running away from it. Over the past few days I have learned that it’s what’s beneath the silence that really matters. Is it out of vengeance or seeking peace? Perhaps it’s the fear of causing more discomfort that keeps me off.
Biggest lesson for me in this season:
It’s what I’m internally processing when I’m away from the people who have upset me that makes the difference. If I work on building love for them in my heart, if I continuously surrender that hurt to God then He will give me the right perspective, the right attitude towards them. With the silent relationships, slowly, God will establish the closeness I desire – some things just require time.
I made this prayer today “Lord help me know the difference between playing my role and letting you be in charge because it’s such a thin line for me.” I usually want to fix things, situations and people (including myself) immediately.
I’m kinda laughing at the idea of #21daysofAngerManagement, God knows the sincerity that came with those thoughts. It’s not the ending I anticipated barely a week into introspection but I’ll take it. I’ve figured, it’s easier to handle every battle a prayer at a time.